And Baby Makes Four » Just another WordPress weblog

I wish there were a simple answer to that. FAWN in and of itself is a new dream of mine, but the heart of FAWN has been a brewing idea for a long time. I was playing “store” for as long as I can remember. Then, as an adult secretly wishing I could be the visual merchandiser or buyer for Anthropologie was always lingering…  But the desire to change the world quickly overtook my childish fantasies. Mostly just unrestrained zeal, without any true guidance. I had all the “knowledge” in the world, but not enough wisdom to act on it. 6 years of college, one year of being in the field I had trained for, and one identity crisis later, I came back to what I was all along… a creative spirit- without an outlet. aka. (just like everyone else with a good idea).  I wanted to do something important, but did not see how doing a 9-5 could ever equate to anything monumental. I began to yearn to move away to a third world country, where the need is so much more obvious. Where my “help” was so much more needed. I say this with tongue-in-cheek because I had no idea (really!) of how much help was needed right here. I did my short-term “charity” trips to 3rd world countries where they were so obviously in need of  my youthful zeal. And change and melt my heart, it did.  SO much so that I started asking all the self-involved questions like “WHY not ME?” “Why THEM?” “Why wasn’t I born in (fill in the blank)?” The day I received the answer to those “why’s” hit me like a proverbial ton of bricks. “You were born HERE, because you have a responsibility to influence THIS place! It’s their responsibility to influence and change their culture for the better, it is your responsibility to influence yours!”   WOW.  Talk about PURPOSE!  ANYone can go to a 3rd-world country and throw out spare change, but actually impact the culture YOU LIVE IN??? (gRAIN OF SALT, PEOPLE! Get my heart, don’t pick apart my words…)
All of a sudden, the weight of that responsibility was VERY HEAVY. HOW? How do I change a culture that doesn’t want changing?
Hmmmmm…
The answer is, CHANGE MYSELF. That’s the only thing I can change!
YUK. Not as exciting as taking eyeglasses to remote villages in South America. Or handing out malaria pills to little babies’ mothers.
Anywhoo. I changed A LOT. And when I say A LOT, I mean, A freaking (painful) LOT! Event parts I loved about myself had to change in order to become a person who could actually ACT and not just dream. So, how does all this tie in with FAWN? Well, I used to think being a MOM would be the most BORING punishment I would ever have to endure. One that would take me away from my my my, me me me true calling in life (whatever THAT may be). And one that would painfully force me to martyr myself and all my dreams to change the world.
HOWEVER, everything changes when you hold that little baby in your arms. This little life that NEEDS you. That little thing that all of a sudden you would give up everything for! I knew my husband wanted children. (7 if he has his way!) LOL So, I asked him for 5 years. 5 years of being married before we add another person to the mix. He agreed. And 5 years, and one month (almost to the day) later, came Vivia. Talk about SHOCK AND AWE! My dreams of being a history maker were all of a sudden lost in a pile of poop and crying. I actually didn’t even enjoy mommyhood all that much (the baby stages). But when my son Rio was born with special needs, all that changed again! He turned one last week, and he, and Vivia, have been such a HUGE inspiration to me and to FAWN.
Having big dreams is easy. Doing something about them is hard.
One day about 6 months ago, I got in touch with some old acquaintances (thanks a lot, facebook!) who have- in the years that I have known them- grown to become extremely successful and influential people in the fields of design, the media, world missions, and things like that. I began to feel a little envious. Like “WHY?” again.
And another “aha!” came in the form of this reply… “Why AREN’T you doing it?” And with that question came all the confidence and faith that I needed to move the mountain of self-doubt. I- in that moment- had the absolute ASSURANCE that I would succeed at whatever it was that I put my hand to, and not only assured, but I lost the fear of failure in that moment as well. SO WHAT if I FAILED??? Who cares? I will try again until I succeed!
Who cares if I am a stay-at-home mom? I can still influence the world around me, that has been given me to influence! As a matter of fact, if I can’t influence the world I LIVE IN on a daily basis, who am I kidding to think I will influence another world on the other side of the globe? If I were to go there, wouldn’t I want to go there as a success with experience on my side, not just a degree and a desire???
So, THUS CAME FAWN. I wish I could say that FAWN was just the brainchild of me, a rockin’ mom with an amazing business saavy. But the reality is, I cannot separate the business side from the mission. My mission is to empower fellow Mompreneurs to be able to contribute to their family’s well-being through the talents and gifts that they have, not just the gift of housekeeping!
Raising the next generation is an honorable calling. One that deserves its merits. But being an honorable woman, who is strong, stable, secure, and who is not afraid of the future is one who can and will change this culture!  Not in an indignant way. But in a humble way. In a way that is contrary to the “WOMAN’s RIGHTS” militantism. And the “ITS all about MEMEMEMEMEMMEEE” culture.
I want to help moms be able to stay at home with their kids, to raise them to be amazing little people who in turn, have the confidence to become world changers. Who in turn, change this deteriorating culture through true self confidence, not the screaming, rebellious kind.
So, HOW am I trying to do all this? Well, This year, I have named my year of CREATIVITY. Believing for new kinds of CREATIVITY to come forth. Not just artistic creativity, but the kind that produces something substantial.
So, in these crummy economic times (blah blah blah…) I did a little research on how people made it during the Great Depression. (By the way, this is NOTHING like the great depression, my friends…) I digress… This is when women really entered the workforce en masse. Everyone was willing to play his or her part.
I mentor young women on an ongoing basis. And I presented to them a list of several ways they could overcome in this challenging era based on what I learned that they did, then. And the biggest thing I learned- was an attitude of “taking a hit for the team”. Did Sally WANT to go work at the bomb factory??? NO! But they were willing to do what it took to survive. There was a general sense of fortitude and solidarity, and selflessness, and sacrifice. I believe we as a generation have A LOT to learn from the “greatest”.
So, that being said, I began to think about how I could contribute (even though I have small children at home). Returning to the workforce was not really an option because even if I wanted my children in daycare, the cost doesn’t outweigh the benefits. I figured that there had to be lots of moms in my position. I also learned in my studies, that many a millionaire was made during the Great Depression. So, I changed my attitude from one of defeat to one of victory.
“WHY AREN”T YOU DOING IT?”…
That’s right! I love that saying that goes, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?”
So, I decided to take some risks, and take some other women along for the ride. And FAWN was born.

hmmm… challenges, from day one has been a huge challenge, but also like someone has been just clearing the road ahead of me. This feel so much different than any of my other endeavors where I feel like I have had to fight kicking and screaming. This has just happened. It took on a life of itself. Like, I don’t have to convince thirsty camels why they need to drink, they just DO. This world is craving good leaders. I just had to learn how to be one, and people will follow. I also do not allow for excuses. They are the biggest motivation leech of all! They will suck out every ounce of fortitude you have if you allow them!

FawnMom.com is very important because phase 2 of our concept is to create not just an online community, but one that will actually step outside it’s four walls to come out and meet in person. To be a Fawn Mom is a concept I hope to develop as we unveil the next phases of FAWN.

My kids are part of the team. Vivia and Rio are not only my inspiration, but an integral part of FAWN. I want them to know that this is not something that is going to take mommy’s time away from them, but a time where, when they are there with me, they can also influence those other children that come in with their parents. Positivity and Joy are contagious! And my kids have loads of that, and more!